My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
