I cockslap morals
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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