apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
