at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
