I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
