the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
