I think my vagina is haunted
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize