you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
