I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you traded sex for a burrito?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
