That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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