I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think my moral compass just broke
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
