The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
