he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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