fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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