I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
