He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The adults are the big ones right?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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