She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Congratulations! We have a period
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
