Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
