Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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