just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
