I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've blown a few things in my day
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
