just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
