I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize