I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
