So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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