As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
