I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
