i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize