Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
