You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
