im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
