we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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