six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just pee around me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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