She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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