gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
