I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
