I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
