I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
