Who wears a wallet chain?!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
