oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
