I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
