A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
