No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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