Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
