i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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