You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
