We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
