yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Two words: nipple clamps
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