You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
