Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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