im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
