dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
