Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize