All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
