i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
why is half of my head shaved?
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