I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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