can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
