Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
