pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
