whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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