so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
