I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
